F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

half an engineer..!!
Bein n inefficient engineer is my dream, nw i cn say i ve completed d path half-way..!!! as ev1 written sumtin abt deh col friends on deh blog wich inspired (??) me 2 write also..rather wana take a revenge on my so called bunch of chums ~ loosers..!!! {well m gettin paid 2 write sumtin gud abt dem..}

as ev1 started it wid GOD..m nt exception..abhay sane..!! real sharp n intelligent..dis guy cn do anetin u wan..literally anetin...!! i wonder hw dis guy get a tym 2 study aftr stayin in col for long workin as a ball-boy in sports-haga..! hez a tanki..cn drink anetin..in quality n "quantity".. love to "try" evrytin.. bt hez so obstinate tht he cn control himself on "tryin" nly..!! juz a one flaw.. neva gets patched up wid ane gal..[:O] wen u ask him he wl say nt interested..bt doesn explain nt interested in wut.."gal" o " relation"..?? i hope its relation..oderwise he wl b responsible for changin lyf o many..especially kaka... " Kaka ws straight untill he realized abhay is GAY.."
bt dude..u rock..ev1 wana be lyk u nly..[:-P]!!


Adwait a.k.a. kaka..!! v cl him by name o diz gr8 footballer cuz hez nt at al gud @ playin futbal..!!bt yeh hez a gud writer..loves 2 get stoned n drunk evrytym..rather wan 2 do dis nly.. dis guy juz wan one thing from gals..real bang-bang..behaves lyk a sex-starved...cnt imagine hw many times he masterbates..?!?!?!?!? {remember lonavla scene}..gt a nice sense o humour..{m gettin paid*}..kaka reminds me o iron man..evrytin o iron except his 4 inches... heart..{#corrupt minds#} diz guy real gud at heart..ready 2 help nytym..!!



Soumyadeep a.k.a. Bevda...!! hez one o d bengoli worrior in UICT.. worrior as in he always fights for sumtin..for becomin topper in OILS...for gettin "right" gal from 1st year..for playin gud carrom n also cs..unfortunate in case o gals..still obsessd wid one gal although he told us tht he movd on..!! hez lucky enough wen it comes 2 alcohol..b*****d gets a chance 2 drink wid his dad..{i loved tht mini bar @ ur place..*} hard-worker..studies by usin timetable n al..! ev1 loves 2 watch him wen hez drunk..{still remember U-turn..} lotsa people in col think tht hez gud for drinkin nutin els..for dos suckers "3:16" " _|_ " {mml}lol.. dude u r very gud friend n kool person..!! mayne dun think abt dos a**es..!! u lot lot better thn dos pakofyn shits..!! [:P]



Nikhil a.k.a. Battu..!! d football freak..probably best football player in UD.. {ahh..sry kaka is best..:-D*} in all his 19 years lyf he has done nly one thing..FOOTBALL..still wonder y he lyk kickin football tht much..may b bcuz hez too tired o gettin his balls kicked by gals..!! nly footballer i ve seen in my lyf widout gal..! tries evrytin 2 get dat gal..bt eventually ends up wid nutin except his "tanhaiyaaa.." nw a days chkn out wid his luks (for dat gal..?? :-O ) ..removed his moustache..strtd usin body-huggin shirts..gt rid o his soda-bottles..!! (Waahh..chhava..lol)
dude..stay d way u r..no need 2 change for (dat) gal.. n dun worry koi nai toh P5 hai hi..lolzz..(thoda adjust karna padega.)


Sarang a.k.a. Haggu..(??){new name..hwz it..?} national TT player..(do u practise it in ur pants..?!?! :-P) ev1 except him knw dat hez gud enough 2 get ane gal..!! (wut a looser..) carrom partner..(kekada-jodi) very sincere wen it comes 2 study.. still confused wich station he wana get down..churchgate o andheri..?!?!?! lol..cn mak ane gal laugh wid his stupid n kiddish sense o humour..(lotsa o people jealous o it dude..) juz started drinkin..very kool guy..! dun worry dude..u wl get ur gal "sum"day..till time.. "atleast i ve a gal wid me..!!" lolzz..[:P][:P]



Abhiram .. national swimmer..! diz guy reminds me o character RYAN from buk 5.someone..!! intelligent..hez nt a hard-worker bt a smart-worker..!! strtd loosin his hairs..{acc 2 s'deep ideal model for hair-gel n shampoo..!!} hez d main reason for w**d culture in UD.. hez real example o "friend with d w**d is a friend indeed.." :-P harami gud @ rollin joints..no1 els ve dis skill..!! knwz abt al d gossip goin around.. obese..! Highly interestd in gettin stoned evrytym..!! i cn say hez one woman man..d nly guy in UD who is in settled relationship..! :-) ehh..oderwise a very lovin guy in UD..! :-D


Tushar.. wana b maths professor.. :-P he has spent half o his lyf in bathroom nly..{i guess he goes 2 bathroom to wast one soap wid oder..}!! d nly guy i ve seen who sleeps b4 d exam cuz hez havin tension o studies.. really gud at maths..lol..fav student o pro. Sahu..[:-D]!! {sum1 told me u cn mak a horse jump..cn u mak Sahu also..?? ahh..sry sry..hez mule..} he cn do lods o things except studies..bt damn intelligent bt nt interestd in usin tht intelligence for sum constructive work..hez also fan o "reds"..lol..passed al his sem cuz o God..{i mean abhay sane..}!! hez also in dilemma wid his chicks.. in 1st case he "lyks" gal, gal "lyks" him, bt her parents dun.. in 2nd case he "loves" gal, n gal "lyks" him..!!!!!! {still m confused kaun kiske piche hai re..??} bt he lives d way hostelite shu live..!!



Dhananjay a.k.a. DJ...!!!! hez nerdo.. {Dj Studies} nly1 from our group who deserves 2 b UD student..! sits for all lectures{completes buks}..takes down notes{v tak xerox}..learns al concepts{n teaches us}.. i guess v al pass exam cuz o him nly..! gifted wid lotsa o things..especially wid Crushed back-bone.. few months back ws interestd in earnin lods o money..{ IBUZZ } i guess hez done wid it nw...[:-P] hez outta all further games cuz o his back-bone injury In his UD innings... He shu open classes for UD students..{ may b chintu wl help u } Far away frm all kinda o addictions..! may b he wl die cuz o passive smokin nly..lol..!!! bt a very helpin guy..thnx for ur notes..[:-P]



Indeed all r loosers..!!

Seven Reasons Why Knight Riders Totally Rock

1. The IPL is a circus. And no circus is complete without a clown. A clown typically performs each of the acts commonly seen in a circus— cycling, jumping through hoops, antics with animals. But they bungle ceaselessly while doing each of them. Similarly the KKR goes through the motions of batting, fielding and bowling but in each of these activities manages to embarrass itself so thoroughly that the audience is left howling with laughter. In a world where there is so much sadness and grief, what can beat the pristine delight of watching the King’s Men bumbling along, falling down, ripping their trousers and soiling themselves? And if there was any doubt as to how seriously the KKR team treats its role as the tournament’s clown, they even communicate among themselves using sign language in the same way that clowns connect with their audience noiselessly through pantomime.

2. There was an old man I remember who used to sit at a park bench in Vivekananda Park, all mufllered up and wearing a monkey cap in the rather feeble Kolkata cold. There was an aura of sad languidness about him for which I always found him interesting. Then one day he stopped coming. Well thanks to KKR, I can see him once again. He is Brad Hodge.

3. Talking about memories, I recall those days when I was young. Of golden winter afternoons playing “gullie” cricket. When our sporting lives revolved around the excitement of the “official” matches that were played against the next para (community). Aah what a team we had. Even though he could never score a run to save his life, Bunty-da was the captain just because he was a big bully. Chotka batted one-down because his elder brother was the local councilor. Brando would show his “judgement” by leaving any delivery that was outside his off-stump even though we were playing 10-overs-a-side. Nobody could figure out why Poltu would always bowl even though Hulo-da was by far the better bowler (The fact that Poltu owned the team’s batting gear could have had something to do with it).

Then on days where we were playing among ourselves on the streets and there were not enough players to make teams, we would play by what was known as “lottery”. In this form of “gully cricket” every player essentially forms a “team of one” and all that was left to be determined was in which order we would bat (this would be the reverse order in which we would bowl). Everyone would field and he who made the most runs won.

So how was this order decided? Someone (let us call him A) would stand and the second person (let us call him person B) would hold his hand behind the first person in a way that A would not be able to see. B would then show a random number of fingers and A would call out a name from among those assembled. And the number represented by those fingers would then become the called out person’s batting position.

Thanks to the Knight Riders, I am once again in touch with my past in a way I never thought would be possible. This is because KKR brings to my world the innocent amateurishness of the archetypal gullie team — McCullum being the new Bunty-da, Agarkar the new Poltu, Akash Chopra/Bangar the new Brando and Charles Langeveldt, who is considered to be one of the best T20 bowlers especially in South African conditions, an image of Hulo-da, not being given much of a chance. Their team selection, like a gully team’s, has no rhyme or reason. For instance on a spinner’s track where the opponents pick three spinners, KKR drops their most famous tweaker and goes with just one spinner. This kind of casual ineptitude reminds me of the time we went to play a game and found out that none of the players who were present that day could bowl overarm.

And the batting order in KKR, I am sure, is determined by “lottery”. And why should it not be? After all in this franchise, every player is a team of “one”. Keeping that in mind, I am sure Buchanan stands behind assistant coach Mott, shows fingers and Mott calls out names at will. How else can you explain the totally random order in which people come out to bat, an order which makes about as much sense as “English Babu Desi Mem”.

Thank you KKR, for bringing to professional sport a bit of gullie cricket thus helping me to relive those memories.

4. KKR rocks because it has given us John Buchanan. For one, if we had not seen Buchanan in action, we would have never realized how truly great the Austrailan team of the 2000s was, so great that it could decimate the opposition even with Sir John as its coach. And second, he has made us realize that Greg Chappell was not really as bad a bloke as we thought him to be. Sure his Vision 2007 did to the country what two hundred years of British rule could not. But even then, sometimes he did speak sense. And once in a while he did give us results. At the very least, he was undoubtedly a great cricketer in his days. These are of course things one cannot say about Sir John. Now in retrospect, I realize I may have been a bit too harsh on Greg-ji when I thought he was the bottom of the barrel. I thank the KKR for correcting me.

5. The more time Shahrukh Khan is at South Africa cheering for his team the less time he has to make films. This is indeed KKR’s single greatest contribution to the world of art. However it seems SRK has gone home right now because evidently he is sick of being laughed at in his face. An urgent appeal from someone who loves the movies: Please SRK, please come back to South Africa. For the love of God.

6. In order to bring an economy out of a disastrous recession, massive investments need to be made (even though it may be totally wasteful) so that cash flows through the system. This is why during the Great Depression, American president Roosevelt reportedly employed men to essentially dig holes in the ground and then cover them up.

In our recession-hit times, KKR has followed in Roosevelt’s footsteps and done its part to rescue the economy by throwing enormous sums of money at a whole army of coaches, assistant coaches, trainers, physios, conditioners and what-nots. And not just that. The Knight Riders fringe players were even sent to Australia to take part in practice matches, talent-spotting camps were held and then a mammoth squad of 57 people were assembled and put on the KKR payroll.

And what have all these people done? The cricketing equivalent of digging holes and then covering them up. But in a recession, this is exactly what needs to happen.

According to some sources, when President Obama was asked what return on investment he expects on the billions of tax-payer dollars he has used to buy off worthless housing loans, he said “Well if you think that’s bad then all I can say is that at least I have not spent 600,000 USD on Mashrafe Mortaza.”

7. And finally KKR rocks for deciding to drop the “Kolkata” from its name which has been speculated to be a harbinger of the franchise’s shift from the city. Kolkata has suffered through the famine of 1942, Direct Action Day of 1946, decades of Left front rule, Mamata Banerjee and Moonmoon Sen. Our tormentors never seem to want to leave us, no matter how hard we pray. However Knight Riders has been refreshingly different. So a sincere expression of gratitude to the franchise for being kind enough to spare us the joy of being represented by it.

~Delhi 6~ super-pathetic

well..its 3 hrs torture..i dunno y i continued watchin it though i ws gettin more n more irritated on every minute o it..!!(pheww o u knw reason...!!)
Complete distraous..!! huh..movie starts wid note "thank u Big B" u wil get it y dey thank big b cuz who is goin 2 put money on his dumbass son abhishek bachchan..!! tht guy really irritates wid his Xtra-american accents..
big b playin is grandfather's role..cameo kinda..his foto in da movie is disgusting.. can u believe he imagines himself wid his grandpa(big B) eatin jalebi @ a tym wenz he abt 2 die..! wut shit..!!
jalebi reminds me o character in movie namin same..shez a kacharewali..but a slut..!! cn u imagine small boy o age 10 askin her "hume mard banado..!!" damn..!!
movie totally concentrates on shit monkey-man..! abhishek bachchan jumps 4m 1 buildin 2 oder lyka spiderman widout web.. i wonder wut he do in america..circus mein kaam karta tha..??
one o weird scene is d sex scene between vj sahukar{local fotographer in movie} n sum gal..! juz imagine dey havin des shits on bed, tv is on, n changin channel wid their legs..n everytym dey land up in playin channel wich "suits" da situation..! eg. animal-sex, rocket launchin.. crap..!
abhishek is unluckiest person shown in movie. evrytym hez thr wen monkey-man do sumtin..he gets slapped by lotsa people..people hit him lyka hell assumin him as a monkey man..!
only 1 +point o movie is sonam kapoor..she luks awesome especially wid her belly-ring..!!
movie is lil gud @ end..is tells u sumtin abt equality n al..gives u sum high-fundu msgs..!
but in short dis movie is nt lov-story, nt horror story o monkey-man, nt family-drama its juz mixture o dis al..wich dun lead 2 anewhre!! movie dun ve ane proper story line..!
actually v wre on higherside thinkin tht film by director o RDB..but it dun ve anetin except gud locations, charming sonam kapoor, n sum stop fightin crap..!
line irritates "ev1 have monkeyman inside.."
Nt at al worth watching..!
literally SUPER-PATHETIC..!!

Dev D.... its an "atyachar" on urself if u dont watch it!

This film is not for someone who views life in black & white. U got to have a techni-color point of view to really enjoy the goings on.

A must watch for every one who ever thought of getting back at the big bad world by destroying one-self !!

Why I liked it:
* Very good narrative. For a change dont remember what color the Theaters ceiling/walls had!!
* The film offers Fresh point of view. My personal fav was Chands line "half the nation got off watching me doing it and they call me a slut".
* Accepts lust is an intrinsic part of love. Does not glorify love!
* Superb sound track. If u r watching with the right janta then be sure of a impromptu dance performance (from the audiecne)during "Emosional Attyachar".
* Abhay Deol. If he continues doing films like Oye Lucky.. and now Dev D he surely will end up having a fiercely loyal fan following.
* Paro :) What looks man. She can create Devdas by the dozens!
* The climax. After all isn’t life all about hope, about falling down and then getting (back) up.

even the 5 stars are not enough for this movie.
Definitely a master piece of de-constrction.

Once Sarat Chandra Chattyopadhyay had said that Devdas should not be published at all because there was nothing to learn.
m sure sharukh would now feel that he could have done it in a better way .....
In this contemporary version Of Anurag Kashyap, there is a statutary Caution "beta ab to sudhar ja" - somthing to learn. i.e. a perfect ending.
I hope even the so called (self proclaimed) moral polices will also promoto this movie for that last line atleast. What do you say?

SOME LAWS THAT NEWTON FORGOT..!!!

1) Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

2) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

3) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

4) Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

5) Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

6) Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8) Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9) Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

10) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

know your customers..!!

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters...

First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place
"Then that should have worked!" said the friend.
"The hell it should had!? said the salesman. Didnt realize that Arabs read from right to left"

EVER WONDER...!!

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

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Why do they sterilize the needle for < /SPAN>lethal injections?

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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke??

huh...!! ever wonder..??